If you are one of the many who read with interest last week about ropes coordinator Erik Phelan’s struggles in the gaga pit, you might want to read his next installment. It seems there’s a gaga scandal afoot at Camp Jewell this session…

GAGA-Gate Scandal 2015

I’d like to start this off by making it clear that I am by no means a sore loser, taking each loss in stride to only improve my physical skills and emotional temperament. Losing isn’t easy, winning with humility is even harder, but losing because somebody here at Camp Jewell has been deflating all of the gaga balls is downright unfair.

Our gaga balls here are checked every morning before breakfast and are regulated at 10 PSI (Pounds per Square Inch). They are stored in the field games shed just beyond our gaga ball arenas. Nobody can get in there without a key. Our coordinators go through all of the balls to make sure that nobody has tampered with the standard regulations we have set.

My suspicions were brought about yesterday afternoon while I was patiently standing outside the pit after I was eliminated, once again, by one of the Nit Nois girls. While I was waiting for the next game to begin, one of the gaga balls went whizzing past my face all the way to the basketball courts. I ran after it so I could get it back to the remaining gaga-ers to finish their game. As I picked it up, I realized it seemed a little soft. I gave it a few good squeezes and determined that this particular gaga ball was not up to our 10 PSI standard.

I returned the ball so everyone could keep playing and didn’t make much noise about the potential scandal we had at hand. I played it cool, and lost a few more matches, but on the inside I was in turmoil. I wasn’t the only one affected by this deflated gaga ball; my biggest concern was the many innocent campers and counselors who enter the pit thinking this could be their moment to shine, only to be knocked out early by dishonesty.

Last night after we lowered the flag and everybody went up to dinner I stayed behind to do a little investigating. I went into the shed with our gear and tested the PSI on all 15 of our gaga balls. I was befuddled to find that 13 of the 15 gaga balls were at or below 8 PSI, way under standard regulation.

Who’s to blame for this? Is it our coordinators for not doing final checks on the proper PSI before every gaga game? Is it the counselors who transport the balls from the Field Games shed to the arena? Is it the air temperature and humidity causing our balls to not stay fully inflated? Or is it this guy…